The Seeking

Hey, pal. So here I am. I’m 23 years and 11 months and 7 days old. Or you could say I’m 23 days to 24 years old. It’s really the same thing abstractly, but the plate in which it’s served really changes a lot. I’m gonna say I’m almost one third into my years yet I have only recently realized I’ve been oblivious almost all … Continue reading The Seeking

Approval.

Does a child ever stop needing his parents’ approval? Do you ever get to a point where your parents opinion on you and your choices are only their own? Or is it not the case, even though you’re all grown up and independent? Let’s open up a bit. Sometimes when my mother looks at me it feels like she’s telling herself how wrong I’ve grown … Continue reading Approval.

Monologue

Aya… What? You’re sad. What’s wrong? I’m sad. I don’t know what’s wrong. Not a clue? I’m just sad. I’m just sad. … I feel void. I feel void. I feel empty and worthless. Did anyone say that? I said it. I’m saying it. I feel void of sense and void of meaning. I keep looking for the point of everything. I don’t see the … Continue reading Monologue

It felt so good…

Yesterday I realized how much I miss playing football. It seems I have forgotten how good it used to feel. Let me write it down as best I could, so that maybe it would stay here to remind me were I to forget again. It felt like power; like you could just launch into outer space and nothing could stop you. It was so old … Continue reading It felt so good…

Sadness and Love

I have come to believe deeply, with each passing day, that sadness and love are synonyms. Those who have been lucky enough to love deeply know all too well the point I’m trying to make. There’s a kind of sadness so profound and thick it almost blocks your lungs. A sadness that is a mixture of yearning, longing, nostalgia, alienation, and weakness. A feeling so … Continue reading Sadness and Love