The Seeking

Hey, pal.

So here I am. I’m 23 years and 11 months and 7 days old. Or you could say I’m 23 days to 24 years old. It’s really the same thing abstractly, but the plate in which it’s served really changes a lot.

I’m gonna say I’m almost one third into my years yet I have only recently realized I’ve been oblivious almost all the time. Oblivious to the fact that I will never find happiness and be truly content with my life unless I seek and find what it is that I am passionate about the most.

It’s funny, though. One day I’m completely blank on what it is that I could call my passion. Another day I have a complete list of possibilities; experiences waiting to happen, realizations in the making.

But wait a second, Ms. all grown-up and experienced, what even is passion?

I will try to tell you what passion is, even though it’s one of those things you can only know for yourself, try for yourself. It’s nothing I or anyone can define; it’s not a lab experiment or a mathematical formula. It isn’t something I can tell you about over a cup of coffee or even in a hundred-something-page book. Actually, I could talk about passion all day, but you would still not know what it really is. It’s like describing what strawberries taste like or what the color red looks like to someone who’s never tasted strawberries or seen the color red.

Passion is what keeps you up at night, sleepless and restless. It’s what you think of when you’re doing your boring job and wish you could be doing that instead. It’s the only thing that can eliminate the feeling of time passing you by. It’s the way you cry for no apparent reason or the way you just want to stay up all night and watch the sunrise even though you’ve got a million things to do tomorrow. Passion is your own personal definition of happiness. It is not materialistic or measurable. It isn’t money or status. It isn’t even people or someone special. It’s all about you; it’s tailored for you.

I must admit it can be hard to find. Unless you’re lucky, you’ll need to go through so many experiences and go, “nope, it isn’t this”, more than most people care to pull through. Until, finally, one day you stumble upon it; the one thing you suddenly realize you’re meant to stick with and dive into for the rest of your life. But unlike things most people dive into, this will actually be rewarding and fulfilling unlike any job you had or hobby you took up before, and you will be happy. You will be as happy as a child reborn, experiencing for the first time in his days, the taste of strawberry, and what the color red really looks like.

Now excuse me, I will go watch the sunrise.

A fellow seeker.


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