Does a child ever stop needing his parents’ approval? Do you ever get to a point where your parents opinion on you and your choices are only their own? Or is it not the case, even though you’re all grown up and independent?
Let’s open up a bit. Sometimes when my mother looks at me it feels like she’s telling herself how wrong I’ve grown up to be and what it is that she hasn’t done right raising me up for me to become this despicable person.
What would ever happen if she was to accept me the way I am? I’m sorry if you wanted me to be something else. It really isn’t the way things work. People are born and then they become very unique and different human beings and sometimes they don’t soar through life so smoothly and easily. I don’t need to be everything you are or everything you could never be. I don’t even know what is it exactly that you want changed about me but I get the vibes the god damned vibes and they make me hate everything in me because let’s be real what is it that you truly like about me?
Wow. I didn’t even punctuate that last paragraph…
What’s even worse is that I’m not even really being all that I want to be. All the compromise and yet still satisfaction is a myth.
I realize that, as you grow older, you start looking at your parents as people; as ordinary, very average people. You start looking at them objectively. They are not angels anymore. They make mistakes and sometime don’t even apologize. They can hurt you and drastically control the course of your life until you’re old enough to realize that it’s your life and not theirs, that you must make those choices and they can only offer advice and blessings.
A parent is a child’s first source of validation. Somehow, for some reason, if your parents don’t validate you early on, you’ll turn a deaf ear to all those other people who genuinely care and tell you constantly that they love you… and that YOU are VALID… and that we can agree to be better people without having to be someone other than ourselves.
Time is not the time and place is not the place. Parents reading this, please let your children live their time and be their amazing selves. Trust me, it’s the best you can do and if you could just loosen up a bit you would be so grateful for letting them spread their wings and fly. A caged bird isn’t really yours until you set it free and it willingly lands on your shoulder.
Nothing is worth the amount of pain a child feels when his parents aren’t pleased with what he’s turned out to be. It’s shattering inside. Don’t just claim you want to be their friend so they would open up to you. Actually be their friend and then you wouldn’t even need to ask.
Have mercy, people. Have mercy…